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Truthsofyouth

Allow yourself to discover and be discovered

محاصرة

يوميا بفتح الاخبار و بسمع كشخص غريب 

بسمع محادثة بالانجليزية بتعبر عن اوضاع عربية

و بشوف ناسي.. لونهم كلوني و لغتهم لغتي 

بحضرهم بصرخو، بنجدو و بموتو بإسم الحرية

و هيني أنا.. بقلب الحرية .. على بعد أميال .. محاصرة بناس ما بشوفوهم الا كأخبار يومية

و ما بعرف شو اعمل بحالي .. جسديا هنا و عاطفيا هناك

قلبي بوجعني لأوطاني العربية

و ما بطلع بايدي الا أحمل قلم و أكتب اللي بداخلي

خذلناكم و ما بعرف فائدة الكلام الا  

كأتأسف و أتألم من إنسانية ضائعة
و اخجل من زمن ناسها تحتفل بالمحاصرة الحلبية

The Numbered Women

Listen and salute the women,

My mother traveled 1/2 the world away for love and stuck it out for 32 years only for her children.

My sister diagnosed with cancer a month after delivery, for 3 years she didn’t get to have a bond with her new born son instead she had it with chemotherapy.

My other sister trying for children and failing for 10 years. Tried IVF 5 times with it working 2 times but when after 6 weeks and going to the doctor for the ultrasound and all you hear is a dead beat.. the heart gets weak.

My 24 year old cousin dealing with depression after my aunts death from breast cancer 13 years ago. Which means she was only 11 and dealt with traumatizing death.

My friends heart being shattered to a 1000 pieces everyday by an abusive relationship she sees as a rainbow, I guess beauty goes by definition.

The last time I trusted my heart with someone else it was tossed like garbage .. put to the side.. without 1 single explanation as to why.

I’ve been around so many women who put on brave faces 24/7 and I have 0 percent energy left in me. So, I’ll just sit here waiting on the world to justify the numbers and provide an equilibrium.

Still

Consider this
A woman cross legged and angry
A good woman, a good human
Angry at a world not giving her
the one thing it promised her

the thing that comes so naturally
has now become the opposite
instead of happiness and joy
it’s pain and needles
instead of nine months
its cut to three and ends with tears

Still

she smiles and laughs

Still

she carries her head up

even though her insides are still 

Consider this
The biggest pinky promise being broken
with nothing else to give
so thank you world but don’t ask her
why she’s cross legged and angry

In Circles •

Today 4th of July I go for my daily exercise around the city. Half way through, my body turns a usual jog into a run. I wasn’t running for calories,  my body was running from my mind. My mind that was full of politics, filth, cunning, war, bombs, death. My body was running full speed from fear. Fear of the world we live in today. The risk, the darkness and the evil. 

For the first time I felt fear of what the future holds, my human nature took over and ran full speed and for a few minutes the feeling was overcome by bodily functions of keeping steady breaths and stabilizing heartbeats and I wasn’t feeling anymore. 

Then when my heart caught up to my feet and I was forced to slow down my mind caught up to both and fear was close behind. 

When half the world was celebrating and the other half was bleeding, I was somewhere in the middle running

…always running 

I

‘I am’ two short words holding your entire existence. Traditionally, they’re followed by a word or two. 

Summarizing your existence 

I find it extremely difficult to come up with a word to follow them up. I dont think I’ve come across a word holding 23 years worth of life 

I am on days a politician fighting for justice or a traveler hitchhiking and having a conversation with made up sign language. On days, I am a teacher on others a student. Giving & taking. 

Sometimes I am an artist craving to find the perfect outlet. Itching the need out of my blood.  I am a writer, a reader, a listener. 

An adjective! 

But for forever, I am a country, a generation, a religion. A spec of human in the race of humanity. A dot of flesh not seen from 7 miles up. 

Ultimately, I am, we are, but passing bodies searching for ‘existence’.

Calculated Chaos 

I get this feeling sometimes that overwhelms me

its a feeling where I experience the universe bursting in my soul

I feel the energies and powers bouncing on and off surfaces

No matter the words I put together, I will never be able to fully explain

Imagine my heart being a volcano

and at a certain point, without any warning, due to an unexpected event

it erupts!!! Filling my body, mind and soul with fulfillment

understanding and faith in an unknown blueprint of a plan

its moments like these that I am certain I am on the path meant for me.

and that every event leading to now has been written by a larger power

invisible glitter and confetti cover me infinitely

Grey Matter

They say it’s either black or white… never grey.

I guess I’m proof that’s wrong

so sit down – dismay

Whether it’s good or bad

I’m the middle point

Opposites, extremes meet in me

Finite Infinity 

One day I’m a conformist the next a hippie

East met West through the scope of me

I’m Fire & Ice like GoT

Lines are blurry and I cannot see

I’m a time bomb without a clock on

I’m a question mark, a mystery

that’s agreed upon

I heard I was born at 12

both noon and midnight

I’m a red mess with two blood types

Call me mix breed, call me mud blood

Spiritually; I’m a crash site

 

Astronaut Dreams

See I know I kinda freak you out

clock after midnight

my freak sides appear

The devils are free.

The devils are real, you’ll see

I’ll lead the way, jump the line

vulnerable and they’re crucial times

walls shattered, heart out of the cage

red is my background color

silent, creep up, I spill no blood

shed skin, shower in masks

feel that

oxygen

space –

we need open-space

End the masquerade get off the stage.

Eat the cake, suit up

We’re heading for outer-space

We’re winning time

Love the weird, embrace the ugly

Know the truth, explore fantasy

 

Go beyond the surface of skin

Dig deep until I reach raw

Sin –

Give me that over anything else, anytime

I want your inner material

that vibe, blood, those salty tears

Head in the clouds, feet on the ground

Heart on your sleeve

-Space -Space

We’re spellbound

I’m just like you

we’re equal in weird

Show me that side

Every-time

the clocks rewind.

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