Her wings are tired. Her body locked in a cage. She screams and shouts but no sound comes out. Escape- escape! Think of a plan. Maybe run away or should she shoot down the man? She chooses to run, doesn’t want blood on her hands. She runs up mountains and across rivers and just like Alice she’s now stuck in Wonderland. Just as the sparkling eyes of the night come for her – she wakes from her sleep. Just as she realises that it was nothing but a dream, she realises her dream was nothing but her reality. *profanity* and she starts to feel the water that’s already knee deep..
What happens when the curtain falls?
And you’re left staring directly at the ugly fucked up world
standing proud of the mess its covered in
I shrink in size and shrivvle in confidence
A wave of horrible emotions crashes through my mind
& I dive carefully around pollution
still on the sofa
Crawling through the motions
my mind chasing innocence
I’ll stay on the run until I find my mind
The world keeps spinning around
I want to yell out loud
I want to see in blurs
يوميا بفتح الاخبار و بسمع كشخص غريب
بسمع محادثة بالانجليزية بتعبر عن اوضاع عربية
و بشوف ناسي.. لونهم كلوني و لغتهم لغتي
بحضرهم بصرخو، بنجدو و بموتو بإسم الحرية
و هيني أنا.. بقلب الحرية .. على بعد أميال .. محاصرة بناس ما بشوفوهم الا كأخبار يومية
و ما بعرف شو اعمل بحالي .. جسديا هنا و عاطفيا هناك
قلبي بوجعني لأوطاني العربية
و ما بطلع بايدي الا أحمل قلم و أكتب اللي بداخلي
خذلناكم و ما بعرف فائدة الكلام الا
كأتأسف و أتألم من إنسانية ضائعة
و اخجل من زمن ناسها تحتفل بالمحاصرة الحلبية
Listen and salute the women,
My mother traveled 1/2 the world away for love and stuck it out for 32 years only for her children.
My sister diagnosed with cancer a month after delivery, for 3 years she didn’t get to have a bond with her new born son instead she had it with chemotherapy.
My other sister trying for children and failing for 10 years. Tried IVF 5 times with it working 2 times but when after 6 weeks and going to the doctor for the ultrasound and all you hear is a dead beat.. the heart gets weak.
My 24 year old cousin dealing with depression after my aunts death from breast cancer 13 years ago. Which means she was only 11 and dealt with traumatizing death.
My friends heart being shattered to a 1000 pieces everyday by an abusive relationship she sees as a rainbow, I guess beauty goes by definition.
The last time I trusted my heart with someone else it was tossed like garbage .. put to the side.. without 1 single explanation as to why.
I’ve been around so many women who put on brave faces 24/7 and I have 0 percent energy left in me. So, I’ll just sit here waiting on the world to justify the numbers and provide an equilibrium.
A woman cross legged and angry
A good woman, a good human
Angry at a world not giving her
the one thing it promised her
the thing that comes so naturally
has now become the opposite
instead of happiness and joy
it’s pain and needles
instead of nine months
its cut to three and ends with tears
she smiles and laughs
she carries her head up
even though her insides are still
The biggest pinky promise being broken
with nothing else to give
so thank you world but don’t ask her
why she’s cross legged and angry
Today 4th of July I go for my daily exercise around the city. Half way through, my body turns a usual jog into a run. I wasn’t running for calories, my body was running from my mind. My mind that was full of politics, filth, cunning, war, bombs, death. My body was running full speed from fear. Fear of the world we live in today. The risk, the darkness and the evil.
For the first time I felt fear of what the future holds, my human nature took over and ran full speed and for a few minutes the feeling was overcome by bodily functions of keeping steady breaths and stabilizing heartbeats and I wasn’t feeling anymore.
Then when my heart caught up to my feet and I was forced to slow down my mind caught up to both and fear was close behind.
When half the world was celebrating and the other half was bleeding, I was somewhere in the middle running
‘I am’ two short words holding your entire existence. Traditionally, they’re followed by a word or two.
Summarizing your existence
I find it extremely difficult to come up with a word to follow them up. I dont think I’ve come across a word holding 23 years worth of life
I am on days a politician fighting for justice or a traveler hitchhiking and having a conversation with made up sign language. On days, I am a teacher on others a student. Giving & taking.
Sometimes I am an artist craving to find the perfect outlet. Itching the need out of my blood. I am a writer, a reader, a listener.
But for forever, I am a country, a generation, a religion. A spec of human in the race of humanity. A dot of flesh not seen from 7 miles up.
Ultimately, I am, we are, but passing bodies searching for ‘existence’.
I get this feeling sometimes that overwhelms me
its a feeling where I experience the universe bursting in my soul
I feel the energies and powers bouncing on and off surfaces
No matter the words I put together, I will never be able to fully explain
Imagine my heart being a volcano
and at a certain point, without any warning, due to an unexpected event
it erupts!!! Filling my body, mind and soul with fulfillment
understanding and faith in an unknown blueprint of a plan
its moments like these that I am certain I am on the path meant for me.
and that every event leading to now has been written by a larger power
invisible glitter and confetti cover me infinitely
They say it’s either black or white… never grey.
I guess I’m proof that’s wrong
so sit down – dismay
Whether it’s good or bad
I’m the middle point
Opposites, extremes meet in me
One day I’m a conformist the next a hippie
East met West through the scope of me
I’m Fire & Ice like GoT
Lines are blurry and I cannot see
I’m a time bomb without a clock on
I’m a question mark, a mystery
that’s agreed upon
I heard I was born at 12
both noon and midnight
I’m a red mess with two blood types
Call me mix breed, call me mud blood
Spiritually; I’m a crash site